(Source: raeosunshine)
Tracks
(Source: derpygrooves)
A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.
About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”
He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:
Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.
A couple days later he got a response from his mother:
Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom
BEST MOM
I’m crYING
Imagine that you’re awkwardly sitting there at a formal dance when suddenly you see a hand extended towards you. ”May I have this dance?” they ask. You look up, and find that it’s your favorite character.
Imagine that favorite character then fucking you so hard that night that you don’t think you’ll be able to stand the next morning.
made rebloggable by request
I guess you sharpened your gaydar till it’s practically a superpower.
do you ever just feel like all of your friends deserve better than you
(Source: alaric-saltzman)
Just a farm cat playing with a dead mouse she caught, is it wrong that I find this adorable.
I have something funny to share with you guys. When I was at my friends house she told me that my older brother came over to see her older sister, and while he was there he made a comment to my friend about my ex-girlfriend which she then relayed back to me and I find it funny.
His words “she wasn’t hot enough to be that big of a bitch to my brother.” Now I don’t believe that looks are an excuse for treating others horribly, but I have to admit that it made me laugh.
It was ‘I LOVE YOU’
(Source: runawaydoctor)
So you all realise him saying please after the GI asked ‘Doctor who?’ was him saying please to River, because he knew she was there.
Please. Say it so I don’t have to.
(Source: andicanalwaysseeyou)
i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s losing its planetary status as a personal offense
